31 July 2007

Childhood staples

I think I had a normal childhood growing up. There were a few things that could send my mom off the deep end, though:
  • playing with chewing gum ... like chewing it and then stretching it and wrapping it around your finger and stuff
  • playing with sticks ... there was no sword yielding for the Newton children, my mom was convinced that one of us would lose an eye buy the time we were 12
  • dog poop ... the Newton kids' shoes seemed to be magnets for stepping in dog poop ... my mom did not adjust to that well, or at all for that matter

29 July 2007

Catholic and single

My roommate is Jewish ... she is on JDate constantly. I find it odd ... based on curiosity, I investigated the following via Google. JDate is basically the only online dating thingy for Jews ... however, for Catholics, it's a whole other story:
Why are there so many Catholic dating sites? Good question ... maybe it has to do with the whole pre-marital sex thing.

28 July 2007

Night Moves?

My roommates and I are moving, thus, things not to say when talking to people you're trying to rent from:
  • I hope to be employed sometime this year.
  • Indoor pluming? That's amazing!
  • All this closet space will be great for my gun collection.
  • It's easy to get here, that will be great for all of my casual relationships.
  • How late does the rent have to be for you to shut off the electricity?
  • Are the walls sound proof?

27 July 2007

The good, the bad ... the drunk

I used to drink with the best of them. Summers were a haze, with booze galore ... I would spend nights drunk, days nursing a hangover, and then recover just in time to repeat the routine the next night.

That was then ... now I work 40 hours a week, and look forward to watching The Wonder Years before I go to bed. Sleeping in until 9:00 on the weekends is also a perk.

I went out last night with some people from work. I had 3 drinks and was home and in bed by 11:00. But then I got the thinkin' maybe my new drinking trends aren't that bad:
  • less drinking = less money thrown out the window on alcohol
  • I have lost that layer of rum/ drunken munchies pudge
  • fewer nights spent throwing up and wishing death upon myself
  • fewer morning afters spent wishing death upon myself ... and rolling around like a dying cow
  • no alcohol sweat
  • not feeling like a bloated elephant after a night of beer drinking

24 July 2007

Bang Boom Zap

So, a meteor hits the earth ... I hope it lands on:
  • Paris Hilton
  • Jack Black ... twice
  • Jesse Jackson
  • Al Gore 3
  • Hilary Clinton and Obama, duh
  • Harry Potter
  • Michael Vick
  • 90% of the people I witnessed in Atlantic City
  • smelly people
  • fat people
  • everyone who supported the new VA driver fees
  • Croc wearers of the world
  • Digital Max

21 July 2007

A night out with Eva

I met Pete and Eva for drinks after work, it turned into quite the adventure:
  • There was news that Fenwick is as miserable as ever --- predictible.
  • Eva got drunk.
  • She then announced that I was paying for her drink (after we had ordered and there had been no mention of this arrangement)
  • After the waitress put the drink on Eva's tab she bitched about paying $2.50 for her own drink for the rest of the night (about 90 times)
  • On the way to the metro Eva stumbled into the guy's bathroom.
  • On the way home, there was a Tool on the Metro that was letting his kid crawl around the train ... his kid most likely has AIDS now.
  • Hey, at least I got an invite to the cocktail party

18 July 2007

Cheeseburger in paradise

The components of a perfect burger:
  • a fresh bun
  • lettuce
  • tomato
  • red onion
  • pickle ... no burger is complete without the pickle slices ... people who promptly remove pickles from burgers are beyond lame
  • lots o' cheese
  • a healthy appetite

17 July 2007

People to see

Just some of the people I saw during my jaunt through Atlantic City and New York this past weekend:
  • an overweight, sunburned lady with a poor attempt of Tweedy Bird tattoo on her shoulder
  • Dispatch
  • the Naked Cowboy
  • 2 people puking through the Dispatch concert
  • dumb kids smoking pot in the row in front of us
  • lame teenagers dressed in homemade tie dyed uniforms
  • a hooker
  • 2 kids attempting to hook up two rows behind us
  • people drinking at 6 in the morning
  • the scum of the Earth that venture to Atlantic City
  • more wife beaters than I ever want to see again
  • bunches and bunches of kids wearing their newly purchased concert tees to the concert ... who does that?

12 July 2007

Let's face it ...

  • men over 30 who drive convertibles = midlife crisis
  • there are far too many choices for chewing gum
  • electric fence = less illegals
  • winning the lottery would be awesome
  • hot tubs are comparable to being in a witch's stew
  • NASCAR isn't redneck ... it's a party
  • elephants are cool
  • terrorism is lame
  • most Asians are bad drivers
  • seriously, WWJD?
  • Michael Vick and Allen Iverson should be in jail
  • I can't stand cold weather ... I'm down with global warming
  • when I was a kid I wanted glasses and braces ... my sister got them

03 July 2007

Cartoons I would date

and just for kicks ...

4th of July

One of my favorite portrayals of the 4th of July is in the movie, Sandlot. I absolutely love how the boys go out and play ball via the light from the fireworks. Some of my most memorable 4th of July's include:
  • setting off fireworks at Riverside Elementary
  • watching the fireworks across the river at the Lion's Bridge
  • going to Nags Head with JoAnn and her family
  • going to visit Gavin at Wake Forest
and ... July 4, 2006 was spent
  • at the Dave Matthews concert in VA Beach

02 July 2007

Church Creek, MD

My Grandma is from Church Creek, Maryland. My Mom, aunt, brother, and Grandma are there for the 4th of July ... I went up to visit on Saturday. If you have never been to the Eastern Shore, it is like going back in time --- things just seem simpler there. There are also some odd names:
  • Lowest Price Gas
  • Choptank River
  • Pig Neck Rd.
  • Emily's Farm Market ... with a male farmer on the sign