29 November 2007

Cafeteria Shortcuts

For the past few weeks, I have been hitting up the salad bar for lunch. I can usually construct a magnificent salad and purchase a 32oz. beverage somewhere in the range of $5.50. I realized today however, that I have also developed several ways of discounting my lunch; mainly because the price of the salad is determined by the weight ... whatever the case, I take every opportunity to save a few cents, including:
  • when in doubt, go without: less food = less money = saving money fills the void left by a half empty stomach
  • knock out the heavy weights: this should be obvious - I always skip the pasta, chicken salad, tuna salad, potato salad
  • salad dressing: instead of putting the dressing directly on my salad, I put it in the nifty to-go containers ... thus I don't have to pay for it
  • tomatoes: while I absolutely love love love tomatoes ... all that gooey stuff is excess weight I don't feel like paying for
  • olives: I like olives ... I make it a point to eat about 3 on my way from the salad bar to the beverage area
  • 32oz. drink: (1)the less ice the better. (2) After I fill my cup I usually take 2 huge gulps and then refill
  • lastly, while I am in line I try to get a couple good bites from my salad ... after all, every ounce counts

26 November 2007

The Forgotten

It never fails ... it does not matter how organized or how much time I allot myself to pack up, I always end up forgetting something while returning from trips home. Midway back to Fairfax today, I realized I was without:
  • deodorant
  • molasses cookie dough

A very random array of things to forget ...

21 November 2007

Fire Drill

It is the day before Thanksgiving; the building closes at 3; hardly anyone is here to begin with ... apparently that is the perfect recipe for a fire drill. Seriously?
  • I work in a 14 story building, but the fire drill only applied to floors 7 and below.
  • The fire alarm is not actually an alarm but a sequence of voices saying things like, "there has been a fire reported in the building, please evacuate" and, "do not use the elevator, use the stairs!"
  • Instead of evacuating outside ... fire drill protocol calls for evacuation to the parking garage.
  • Question: Why?
  • Answer: Being that this is a post 9-11 building, the parking garage is sturdy enough to withstand a 14 story building collapsing on it.
  • How can you guarantee that a parking garage filled with cars and people can survive a building falling on it?
  • And what if it doesn't work ... I envision engineers and architects accessing the damage, shrugging their shoulders and saying, "oops."

20 November 2007

Coming to terms with being old

It began the weekend after my birthday ... I drank too much. During my Sunday stupor/ recovery, instead of thinking, "I'm never drinking again" my thoughts were fixated on, "I used to be able to drink this much and be fine the next day." Since then, God has been reminding me that I am now 25, and there is no turning back:
  • I was filling out a survey from a recent trip to the grocery store to win $1,000 and at the end it asked for my age range ... I was stunned with the realization that I am no longer 18-24. I am 25-34. I am 25-34. I am 25-34. Can you believe that?
  • I had to renew my driver's license ... now it is horizontal ... leaving no doubt that I am a full fledged adult.
  • Hearing things like, 'beer fridge!', 'shotgun!', 'beer bong!', 'waterfall!' just aren't as exciting as they used to be.
  • Last weekend, I had to force myself to stay up past 11.

17 November 2007

Keep Clean

Two weeks ago, my mom was in Woodbridge, VA for a conference, so I spent the weekend with her.  In addition to some much needed down time, I was excited about the assumed trip to Target.  ... the trip that did not happen.  I put off the trip on my own because: (1) I am cheap, (2) I don't like spending money, (3) I am not rich, (4) I am cheap.  My mom coming into town was perfect timing because I was running out of pretty much everything that keeps one appearing clean and socially acceptable, including but not limited to:
  • deodorant
  • laundry detergent
  • shampoo
  • conditioner
  • face wash
  • body wash
This past week I was on the phone with my mom and mentioned that I was trying to find a balance to remain clean, but not go to the store until I go home for Thanksgiving.  She was not pleased ... today I received an unexpected package which included:
  • tampons
  • 2 bars of face soap
  • shower cap
  • 2 bars of soap
  • Halloween napkins
  • 4 mini bottles of shampoo
  • 4 mini bottles of conditioner
  • body lotion
  • 1 stuffed Mucinex Monster
Needless to say, I would be lost without my mom (... and dirty).

16 November 2007


For my birthday I got Trivial Pursuit Scratch & Play.  It is kind of like playing Lottery Scratchers, but not winning any money.  Tonight I finished the book/ game this is the scoring breakdown:
  • 1400: Trivia Master
  • 1000 - 1399: Genus Genius
  • 600 - 999:  not bad, you need more practice
  • below 600: console yourself by remembering that the definition of trivia is "unimportant things"

I was pleased with my score of 1162.  Who needs higher education when you can just play Trivial Pursuit?

15 November 2007

Sweet Tooth

Call me crazy, I am not a big fan of candy.  However, I cannot get my fill of Peanut M&M's.  I could live on them if I had to.  Last week was my birthday, and I collected a grand total of 3.5 pounds of Peanut M&M's ... including:  
  • Classic Peanut M&M's
  • Shrek colored 'Ogre-Sized' Peanut M&M's
  • and 1 bag of Holiday Mix Peanut M&M's    

14 November 2007

Musical Fill In the Blank

I can't listen to _________ without thinking of _________.
  • Dave Matthews  ...  Gavin
  • Counting Crows   ...  the night the cops showed up
  • Modest Mouse   ...   Holly
  • Brittney Spears   ...   MegFarrellHo
  • Gavin DeGraw/ John Mayer   ...   Lindsay
  • Weezer   ...   EmilyMiller
  • Sister Hazel   ...   being too drunk on the streets of Norfolk
  • Amy Grant (not that I make any effort whatsoever to hear Amy Grant)   ...   having the flu when I was a kid and throwing up all over my bed 
I had a bad habit of not staying in my bed after my mom put me to sleep.  On such a night, I kept getting up, finally she threatened to kill me or something if I got out of bed again, put on my Amy Grant tape, and left my room.  I kept yelling from my room that I didn't feel well, and no one took me seriously until I got violently ill ... with Amy Grant singing in the background.

12 November 2007

Nick Hogan and I are Dating

Lately, I have not remembered many dreams ... the ones that I can recall have not been very vivid.  This all changed last night:
  • I dreamt that I was dating Nick Hogan
  • Yes, Nick Hogan
  • When I was a kid I had a Hulk Hogan lunch box at some point but that was the extent of my connections to the Hogans until last night
  • Forget the fact that I'm like 8 years older than him
  • And it was one of those dreams that seemed real ...
  • I woke up still thinking that we were dating
  • In my dream I was on some wake boarding vacation with the Hogans
  • Linda hogan was all pissed because Nick ripped a hole in the sleeve of his rash guard (I mean we weren't surfing, I don't know why he had a rash guard)
  • We spent the day out on the water and then went to a hotel
  • Liz ... Hulk, Linda, Brooke, and Nick ... my bf

09 November 2007


  • acne scars are attractive
  • sandwiches should always be cut corner to corner
  • I will always be a horrible speller
  • cold weather sucks my will to live
  • so do itchy sweaters
  • I judge people based on the content of their iPod

08 November 2007


Today I am 25. I ...
  • grew up going to visit the Real Santa every year in Richmond
  • have been to Europe twice
  • jumped off of a cliff
  • saw Reagan's casket at the Capital
  • survived the family voyage to Disney World when I was in the 4th grade
  • saw 4th of July fireworks at the Lincoln Memorial
  • got stitches for the first time when I was 22
  • have seen the sun set/ rise and storms roll in over the James River
  • had pink hair in high school
  • spit off the top of the Eiffel Tower when I was 17
  • jumped out of a plane when I was 19
  • went on an 18-wheeler trip
  • had a secret on Postsecret
  • swam in the ocean too many times to count
  • was picked up to play college softball, after not playing for 2 years
  • graduated from college
  • have a tattoo
  • I also have a sister and brother
  • got food poisoning at Cheddars when I was 14, and I haven't eaten there since
  • played poker in Vegas
  • ate a hot dog at the Sistine Chapel
  • saw the Pope
  • went to mass at St. Patrick's with my mom and sister
  • sailed from VA to North Carolina
  • visited Manhattan in the summer
  • outlived people I never thought would outlive
  • have friends that mean more to me than they know
  • love to read
  • hate to shop
  • despise uncomfortable shoes
  • adore overweight basset hounds

Today I am 25 ... I have been blessed ... I have lived.

07 November 2007


Yesterday was a teacher workday so my brother didn't have school.  He called me while I was at work to say that Mom took him to lunch at Lonestar.  I called her; this is how it went down:

  • Liz: So you took Joey out to lunch on his day off?
  • Ruthann: Yeah
  • Liz: You never took Stephanie and me out of our days off ... he's so spoiled; such a typical youngest child
  • Ruthann: Well we did get the lunch special ... 2 lunches for $6.00
  • Liz: Lonestar has a lunch special?
  • Ruthann: No, I was just trying to make you feel better, but we did just get hamburgers
  • Liz: Really?
  • Ruthann: No, we actually had steak
  • Liz: Mom!
  • Ruthann: Bye

03 November 2007

My 2nd Grade Yearbook

The last time I was home my mom was clearing out some clutter in my room. Amongst the things was a pile of Riverside Elementary School yearbooks. As I was thumbing through my 2nd grade yearbook of black & white photos … one head shot jumped out amongst the others. … the one of Gayle … mainly because of the brightness of the red maker I used to viciously scratch over her face.
Gayle and I shared a unique childhood relationship … she annoyed me.

  • On the first day of kindergarten she and I had to sit at the same table.  She was crying, so I told her she was stupid, and I got in trouble. I remember being confused because I thought that she should have gotten in trouble for crying ... who cries in kindergarten?
  • She was the only kid at school that was Jewish … or more likely, just the most outspoken.
  • All she talked about was being Jewish.
  • The few times she wasn't talking about being Jewish she was talking about having tubes in her ears or the fact that she had asthma, or that she had to wear glasses.
  • Her family passed out raisins for Halloween.
  • By the 1st grade Gayle didn't have many friends.
  • So I was nice to her … no big deal, I thought that was the extent of our relationship …
  • and then there was the day we had show & tell.
  • Gayle lugged in the biggest trash bag I had ever seen … comparable to a sack that you'd envision Santa hauling around on Christmas Eve.
  • Then she proceeded to pull out stuffed animals … she would take one out, hold it up and announce to the rest of the class, "This is my _____ (bear, rabbit, penguin, giraffe, tiger, sloth … it seemed like she had 328 animals to introduce) and her name is Elizabeth, because Elizabeth is my best friend."
  • By the end of the day, I had no friends in my 1st grade class, or the rest of Riverside Elementary School for that matter.
  • Gayle's stunt was probably sparked my social anxiety issues.
  • So I scratched her face out of my yearbook … but I haven't been able to repress the memories.
  • I've heard that Gayle is now a teacher … It's funny to think that she's out in the world somewhere tormenting unsuspecting youth the same way she did when we were in elementary school.