28 August 2008

A Taste of the Good Life

So I've been out of town for work the past week, and my eyes have been opened to what the world would be like if I wasn't such a frugal cheapskate ... plus, I continue to cut corners in order to enhance my company comps, such as:

  • while I am paid for each mile that I drive, I continue to travel with the windows down as opposed to running the gas guzzling a/c
  • I get to write of water/ soda that I drink throughout the day while I work ... so I've been hoarding unopened water bottles ... I mean, I'll drink them eventually ... and who turns down being reimbursed?
  • I've been ordering real beverages with my meals as opposed to just getting water
  • I've also been treating myself to a brew with dinner, compliments of my company
  • I haven't got up the nerve to pick up a 40 ... though it has crossed my mind
  • I've been getting 'real' drinks at Starbucks instead of just iced-tea
  • while I typically pick my meals based on price ... I have been instead choosing based on my appetite
  • I can crank up the a/c at the hotel because I'm not paying for it!
  • I'll leave it at that because the more I write, the more I feel like Scrooge McDuck

27 August 2008

Grammar Hammer

Grammar & Liz have a bizarre relationship:
  • it drives me nuts when people confuse then and than
  • as well as there/their/they're and you're/your
  • however, I still confuse good and well ... and further/ farther
  • I always spell 'appreciate' 'apprechiate' ... it just seems better with an h?
  • and I never know if surprise is suprise or surprise. -maybe I should start spelling it surrrprise
  • when in doubt, I always just add an ellipsis
  • semi-colon's are underutilized
  • I believe that too many words exist ... I mean, what are we trying to prove with so many damn synonyms?

26 August 2008

Confessions


  • Rescue 911 scared the -ish out of me when I was a kid ... but I watched in constantly ... actually just thinking of the theme music still gives me the creeps
  • I like going new places, but I don't like actually traveling ... does that make sense?
  • I am having major issues with the fact that the summer is practically over
  • an avocado is the most yuppie food that exists
  • while I am happy that I'm only working in Jersey 4 days this week, I am bummed that I am working 1o hour days, and then working in VA on Friday
  • I'm in desperate need of a vacation ... the longer, the better
  • I don't think I have ever been this un-tan/ pale/ white/ sickly looking in August in all of my life

25 August 2008

Addicted to Bad

As I was watching The Devil Wears Prada the other night it dawned on me that I am drawn to bad movies. More specifically, I am addicted to movies that are aimed at an age bracket (or 2) below myself. But you know what? I am ok with this ... I am secure enough with who I am to admit that on any given day, given the chance, I would watch:

  • Drive Me Crazy
  • Bring It On
  • 10 Things I hate About You
  • Varsity Blues
  • Lizzie McGuire Movie
  • Saved
  • Cinderella Story
  • 13 Going On 30
  • Blue Crush
  • 16 Candles
  • Princess Diaries

22 August 2008

30 Things for my Mom's Birthday

Today is my mom's birthday ... she's 52, has been married for 29 years, has 3 amazingly awesome and nearly perfect children, and hates dryer sheets.

For her gift, I must give credit to Lindsay ... who had the idea to do this for her mom for Mother's day. Once I got over how cheesy it seemed, it seemed like an amazing gift. Write 30 notes/ memories for my momma, and then put them in a cute box, and she can read them whenever ... preferably one at a time.

While I typically keep List un-cheesy and not uber personal, I decided I'd share my notes to my mom ... she deserves it.
  1. I know your smell; I can't describe it ... and it's not a bad smell, I just know your smell
  2. I remember counting your hair when I couldn't sleep ... during the 13+ years I insisted on sleeping in your room
  3. You can make Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes
  4. You can color in the lines better than anyone I've ever met
  5. Whenever we were sick or hurt and you said, "I wish it was me instead" ... you always seemed like you really meant it.
  6. I've heard you say the f- word more than once, but no more than 5 times ... you're a bad-ass
  7. We've seen Bruce Springsteen together ;)
  8. You have no idea how much I enjoyed being the only daughter over 11 and you being the only mom over 40 at the Hilary Duff Today show performance
  9. I remember yelling at you when you would read to me and change/ emulate characters' voices ... it drove me crazy ... the thought of it still drives me crazy
  10. I'll never forget or forgive you for trying to convince me that your arm was broken
  11. I've never understood why you hate dryer sheets with such passion
  12. I can't imagine not spending Saturday's at Gramma's house ... and eating creamed chip beef, and watching you, Susan, and Gramma play Scrabble
  13. I saw how nervous you were on the first day that Joey rode the bus to school ... it was a defining moment of strength for the both of you.
  14. The first time you bleached your hair, I was in the 5th grade ... I saw you near the auditorium at Riverside ... I was amazed at how different you looked.
  15. You drink Crown straight up ... I aspire to drink like that.
  16. Stephanie and I were lucky to get notes on our lunch box napkins.
  17. You watched me play softball in 30 degree weather, 100 degree weather, and rain. I remember spotting you and Stephanie in the stands at the state games when I played against Culpepper the summer I was 16 ... and seeing how engrossed in the game you both were
  18. I remember walking to school with you, and Joey in his stroller on my first day of kindergarten ... and holding your hand and not wanting to go ... that was the beginning of me hating school
  19. I remember when Joey crawled out of his car seat on the way home from McDonald's and I had to crawl through the minivan to find him
  20. I kept all of your notes and cards you sent me during the first year I was at G.Mason.
  21. I miss gliding through the Cartier Christmas lights tunnel with you and Stephanie
  22. Eskimo, butterfly, kiss, shake
  23. You painstakingly helped me learn how to correctly spell enough states and state capitols to pass 8th grade Civics (i.e. Connect I cut [get it?])
  24. I remember you taking me to get a chocolate malt after leaving the orthodontist's office with braces
  25. I'm not a fan of your handwriting
  26. Your April Fool's pranks are out of control. You've been tormenting us since we were little. I have April Fool's Day anxiety mid-March through mid-April.
  27. Carving pumpkins was never the same after the year you almost severed your hand and had to go to the emergency room
  28. Given the opportunity, I truly believe you'd leave Dad for Bruce Springsteen ... I don't know if that is scary of cool.
  29. I'm so happy you haven't had some nutty mid-life crisis
  30. I know I call you Ruthann ... but I am well aware that you are my mother, and in most situations like ours, the offspring references the one who birthed her as, "Mom." I'll work on that, Ruthann. Doh!

    20 August 2008

    Livin' Large

    In case you missed it, the 2008 list of the Fattest States has been released ... Mississippi reigns as the fattest for the 2nd year in a row followed by:
    • West Virginia
    • Alabama
    • Louisiana
    • South Carolina
    • Tennessee
    • Kentucky
    • Arkansas
    • Michigan
    ... for the complete list, go here.

    19 August 2008

    Tramps Like Us ...

    • I cannot put into words how amazed I was by the Bruce Springsteen concert last night in Richmond, VA
    • my mom and I drafted our preferred set lists and compared them
    • then we started out the night with dinner and drinks at the Tobacco Company's "Bruce Springsteen's Magic Bus" pre-concert party
    • there was Springsteen music blasting, a ticket raffle, shuttle passes being passed out, a huge crowd around the bar ... and that's when I noticed it
    • I was the youngest person in the room
    • clearly Bruce & Co. reeled in their fans back in the 70's ... and they have remained loyal followers
    • that is when I started calling the shuttle to the concert the, "geriatric express"
    • my mom didn't seem to appreciate that
    • once we got to the show, I was again surrounded by people twice my age ... there seemed to be no middle ground ... either you were 50+ or you were the child of a person 50+
    • I didn't really care; the concert was amazing
    • I gave my mom a dumbfounded look (as if I realized Santa wasn't real) when Bruce didn't scream during Prove It All Night (one of my top 3 songs) ... she patted me on the shoulder and said, "he just can't yell like he used to"
    • however, he still bounces around the stage like he's in his 20's ... he jumped and kicked; literally rolled around; swung his guitar around; pulled kids up on stage; and ran and slid across the stage
    • with the exception of of Bruce's politically charged intro to "Livin' in the Future" ... they did not disappoint
    • I had a great time, and I am glad I was able to go with my mom
    • plus, where else can you scream, "tramps like us, baby we were born to run" and blend in with 1,000's of people around you?

    18 August 2008

    Road to Bruce

    • This afternoon I'm going down to Richmond to meet up with my mom and then go to the Bruce Springsteen concert
    • I'm excited about a 1/2 day of work!
    • ... and the concert
    • ... but not driving
    • We're going to a pre-concert party at the Tobacco Company
    • my mom is hoping that Bruce will be there
    • in fact, she said that she is bringing her preferred set list to slip to him in case she bumps into him
    • I believe Bruce is the one man my mom would leave my dad for
    • that kind of creeps me out

    17 August 2008

    Tropic Thunder ... Don't Do It

    • I liked Ben Stiller ... but that was before Tropic Thunder
    • I could not be more disappointed in Stiller or Dreamworks
    • It's appalling that in 2008 this movie has been created and released that sends such a horrible heartless message ... that message being that it is ok to make fun of people with disabilities.
    • In America, there are 14.3 million people with cognitive disabilities ... why should a movie be able to get away with making fun of them?

    15 August 2008

    13 August 2008

    China's Propaganda

    That's it, China, enough is enough. I for one have not been suckered in to all the garbage about the strides China is making. China is not "opening their doors to the world" as the media keeps repeating ... they're just showing us what they want us to see ... and people are falling for their shenanigans. However, news is spreading about:
    They're all about the image they portray ... oh yeah, and they're a Communist nation, so what is China doing that is so great, again? Go ahead China, try to get more medals, at least in America we'll be able to freely express our discount without being oppressed by the government.

    12 August 2008

    Liz v. Parking Gate

    I was trying to visit my friends ... to do so you must maneuver your way through the parking gate ... I don't do well with parking gates:
    • I got there as a car was going through the gate.  I thought about just tailgating them in, but then I hesitated and missed my chance.
    • so I pushed the call button
    • meanwhile a car pulled up behind me
    • after I pushed and released the button, I realized that I was supposed to keep the button pushed down
    • so I pushed it again
    • and things started rings, and then silence, and then a beep, and then more silence
    • I was hopeful that the gate would just magically open
    • but it didn't
    • a voice said, "you have to tell me while you're here" ... in a very Wizard of Oz voice sort of way
    • [in hindsight this may have been the same guy from the last time I was there ... I just pushed and fiddles with the button until the gate opened until I sped through]
    • anyway, so I responded, "visitor" and realized that I didn't push the stupid button to speak
    • so then I did a combo of pushing and releasing the button and yelling VISITOR
    • gate opened
    • game over 

    11 August 2008

    Dumb Women ...

    stay with husbands who cheat:
    • Hillary Clinton, though she'd still be classified as 'dumb' even if she had left
    • Silda Spitzer
    • Elizabeth Edwards

    10 August 2008

    Hodgepodge

    ... a hodgepodge of quotes that I have found worthy of sharing:
    • "Flexible Managements Ease Recession Impact" -May 1982 Merrill Lynch Newsletter
    • "Mexicans are used to working 50+ hours a week, compared to Americans who complain about working 40 hour weeks" -1985 brochure about the benefits of moving your business to Mexico
    • "Save the Wild Dolphin" -Florida license plate theme
    • "Brace for the smooth taste" - Hurricane slogan, printed on the bottle 
    • "It's a little bit hot tonight ... I sweat even if it's cold outside, but when it's hot it's a lil' bit disgusting" - Dave Matthews, Fairfax, VA 6.28.08
    • "Rule 1: Love is a battlefield." - Jennifer Garner, 13 Going on 30
    • "See you at the debate, bitches." - Paris Hilton
    • "I've gotta go pick up my payday loan" - a co-worker as she was in a rush to leave work
    • "I donated my hair to cancer patents" - my roommate talking to one of her co-workers, referring to her haircut ... this is also a blatant lie, she did get a haircut ... but in no way did she donate anything ... she is an ugly person
    • "Shamwow!"

    09 August 2008

    Join the masses

    I consider myself a non-technology person. I like things such as pencils, paper, typewriters, and books ... but, with my recent Twitter registration ... I realized that I do, in fact, enjoy certain aspects of computers and technology, as evident by all the things I am a part of, including:

    • Facebook: actually who isn't on Facebook. I liked the days when lines used to be clear and defined: i.e. if you're in college you're on Facebook, and if you have illegitimate kids and still live with your parents you're on MySpace.
    • Last.fm: I am such a stat rat, and since I'm connected to my iPod constantly, it's so cool that Last.fm tracks what I'm listening to ... in a total non-creepy Big Brother way, of course.
    • YouTube
    • DCBlogs
    • Etsy
    • Google, this also includes: GMail, GoogleDocs, GoogleReader
    • Twitter: I was a non-Twitter believer, but alas, I have seen the light ... you, too, should join we could be Twitter buddies ;)

    04 August 2008

    Too Much

    As I was riffling through my tote bag this morning I kept discovering pens in the various compartments. I ended up with a total of 6 pens in my bag. Why do I have so many? - The world has too many. In addition to pens, the world also has too many:
    • coffee mugs
    • free/ promotional tee shirts: I typically don't have a problem with free things, but I have no use for XL tee shirts. It must be great for all of the XL people seeking free shirts ... but what about the rest of us?
    • cell phones
    • liberals
    • tv stations
    • cars
    • dumb people
    • Starbucks (Starbuckses? Starbi?)
    • McDonald's
    • crappy bands
    • sea gulls & Canadian geese
    • illegitimate children
    • pennies

    02 August 2008

    Word Games

    • So I had an idea
    • I got the GRE vocabulary flash cards (500 words)
    • my plan was to go through the cards and separate them into 2 stacks ...
    • 1: words I don't know
    • 2: words I know
    • and then I was going to toss the ones I already know, and just study the ones I'm clueless about
    • now ... as much as I read and write, words and I don't really get along. I'm a horrible speller, I can't do crossword puzzles, and I've never won a scrabble game
    • as I went to divide my snazzy new flashcards, I quickly realized that there was not a lot of dividing to be done ... these stupid words are like a foreign language to me ... and the overwhelming majority of the cards were land landing in the "I don't know/ are you kidding me? -this sounds like a made up word" stack
    • ... and then I started to get angry
    • why are there so many stupid words?
    • synonyms are dumb
    • I've survived 25 years without ever saying, writing, or attempting to pronounce: hoodwink, munificent, odious, contumacious, bumptious, acumen ... I could go on. Why should I start now?

    01 August 2008

    No List Friday

     
    This is the picture my brother received from Cat Osterman  ... if you look closely, it's on top of the letter she sent him as well.