Thanks to LP, I stumbled upon a wedding toast fill in the blank in the paper today. Being that I am slated to be in a wedding this June, I filled it in Mad Libs style accordingly ... and by accordingly, I mean fictitiously.
As many of you know, my name is LIZ, and I am the MOH. I have known J for 13 years, and I have never seen her happier than she is today. Except maybe this one time. J and I were in ATLANTIC CITY, and we went to JAIL. I was feeling GLAMOROUS, and J was doing everything in her power to ESCAPE. I will never forget what J told me: "LIFE IS MISERY." That's typical J: always STUPID. Another time she came close to being as happy as she is today was when she met B. They met at 7-11, and for their first date LAID PIPE. J called me afterwards to tell me how SLOPPY it was. This new person was LETHARGIC, HUNGRY, NEUROTIC. [dramatic pause] I could just tell something was different. There's a quote I've always held dear, and I feel it's appropriate today: "Joy is not in things; it is in us." J and B have found great joy in each other, and we're all fortunate to be sharing it with them today. May their happiness last forever.