02 June 2012

Anatomy of a Schmuck

I was at a sporting goods store last weekend, minding my own business, and then I heard someone say, "yes, I'm looking to purchase the most expensive canoe you have."  I turned to see what type of human makes comments like this, and I observed the following:

  • man
  • middle aged
  • American
  • beard
  • glasses
  • plaid shorts
  • loafers
  • ... not boat shoes, loafers
  • polo
  • not just any polo, a hot pink polo
  • popped collar
  • man purse
  • in addition to the, 'expensive canoe' comment I also heard him say that he wanted to rig it with an outboard motor (yes, outboard) ... in his words: 'you know, in case your arms get tired, or you pull a muscle paddling'

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